| i realize that i haven't written anything of substance for a while.
perhaps i should fix that.
it's just that during the day i feel like i have something i want to share... but then when i actually sit to write, there's nothing really to say.
i feel like i'm not true to myself. like, i lie to myself and make myself think that i feel a certain way when i really dont. i'm not sure if i have a specific example... let's see if one comes to mind.
i hate conflict. i hate to tell/talk to people when i feel a certain way about them that i know isn't necessarily going to be the best of news. instead, i lie to myself and trick myself into thinking that i'm okay with it. and sometimes it'll be 5 minutes or so before i realize that, "hey, i'm not okay with this." but then sometimes it will be years before i realize it. the latter is horrible, because by then i've already manifested some passive agressive nature into the relationship with that person... and things have probably already gone sour.
the truth is, i do have something on my mind at this moment. and i know how i feel about it. i know that i should do something about it. but i can't. i hate conflict.
what does that make me?
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| dear pimple on my forehead,
Please go away. i won't miss u.
-me.
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